When I returned to school after having Brooke I was devasted for the first week. I wondered what effect this would have on my daugher, myself, my family... Now that I have the opportunity to stay home I wonder what effect this will have. It may sound weird but I feel that being a working mom has a lot of benefits (and some negatives of course). I feel that Brooke learned how to be more independent, not as needy and clingy, and more appreciative of the time we spent together. I felt I learned the same. I liked that she was 'raised by the village' per say. I like that she will grow up knowing that her mother worked and handled many different things. I like to think that she will be proud. At the end of the day , I appreciated every golden minute I had with her when i came home. I made the time I spent with her count. It may seem that a small child (over a year) doesn't know any better but I feel they do.
The biggest negative or shall i say most difficult part of being a working mom, i find, is the juggling. You have to be so, so organized , you have to be a planner and you HAVE to be able to multi-task . You also have to be able to let go of somethings...like the hairballs in the corner of your bedroom, or laundry piling up for more than hmmm...4-5 days? It can get a bit tiresome sometimes...but if you are good at it (and i believe we all get good at it at one point) it is not so bad. I just always had to make sure I had scheduled some downtime for myself, and for Scott and myself (this we actually slacked a bit too much in...but we are working on getting better with that)!
Being at home Brooke and I can't get a little, lets see how do we say it nicely, tired of eachother. You can love your child soooo much but spending every minute with someone (especially if they are whining) can get to you a bit. It becomes more of a job (again these are my views and may not be the views of every stay at home mom!) and a task. I think having something else to go to keeps more of 'you' in the equation. You don't lose yourself in your children's lives as much....does that make sense?
Anyway, this is what is usually on my mind in September. New beginnings, new choices. I am happy with my choice to stay home and spend some time with my children but as I am sure you can see with this post- unsure and curious to see how it will all pan out! It is new to me...but a good new. Somedays I am sure just like my 'other' job - I will jump at the opportunity to get out early...
3 comments:
That was a really interesting perspective. I think both sides of the coin have pros and cons... you made a lot of good points about being a working mom. But I'm sure having a stay-at-home mom will teach your kids other things. It will be interesting to learn them as you go! (My mom stayed at home until I was 13, when she went back to work. Which was basically a huge lesson in how much we had taken her for granted!!! When she went back to work and I had to pitch in more (as the oldest child), I learned: when someone cooks dinner for you, say thank you, no matter what you're in or how the food tastes, bc its hard work feeding a family! And I think we all realized how much she made everything go smoothly in our house!)
I feel you anet. So feel you. I was happy to stay home for the time that I did and was also happy to go back when I did. We are strong, smart women. We will teach our kids how to do it all. You should be proud of the "juggling" you do! You do a great job of it. Do it all when it feels right and not a moment sooner and don't ever let someone make you second guess what you're doing.
Marie- wow that is a long time to stay home 13 years..I think we would be bankrupt by then! What did she do when she went back to work?
Chrissy- thanks that is good to hear once in a while...as you probably know everyday you wonder if what you are doing is the 'right thing'...
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